You must wear white? You can’t see each other before the ceremony? Sometimes traditions are nice; sometimes they’re just not you.
By Kelsey Damrad
Some rules are made to be broken. Or, at the very least, altered, mended and transformed into something much more fabulous. When planning your wedding, don’t bother with rules and traditions that don’t relate to you and your fiance. Make your wedding your own, and ditch conventional for personal.
The adage that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony is an old superstition. This tradition dates back to the era of arranged marriage when matrimony was a quick and dirty business transaction. If you’re a break-the-mold kind of girl, then ditch the drama. Go ahead and spend a little time with your honey before the ceremony. If you get some formal shots beforehand, you won’t have to miss out on your own cocktail hour with your guests. Plus, this way that “first glance” will be an intimate moment between the two of you.
March to Your Own Beat
While many associate Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” with the processional, going a different way with the music will not make or break the ceremony. Pretend you’re watching a movie of your relationship: What is the soundtrack? Find a song that is an expression of your relationship. Whether it’s a solo jazz cellist or the Beatles’ “Blackbird,” this is one tradition that may sound better abandoned.
To All the Single Ladies
The bouquet toss can be a burden for many reasons. Whether your guest list includes a grand total of three single friends or you’re reluctant to exclude your married guests, you don’t have to do the traditional toss. The best part of the ritual is sharing a moment with your gal pals. So start your own tradition: Invite all of your girlfriends, married and single, onto the floor and tell them to make a wish. She who catches it will have a wish fulfilled!
If you are best friends outside of the wedding, why not honor that relationship during it? Tradition has a habit of splitting men to the groom’s side and women to the bride’s, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t include your male friends (or his female friends). And if you’re worried about him feeling uncomfortable at the bridal shower, consider throwing a Jack and Jill shower instead and saving the girl’s night out for your bachelorette party. Having a bro participate in your wedding is not taboo…in fact, it may be the dash of diversity your wedding needs!
You hereby have permission (not that you needed our permission) to stray from a white wedding dress. Yup, you heard right. The white wedding dress was a tradition born in the 1840s when Queen Victoria adorned herself in white for her wedding to Prince Albert…but who says we all have to follow her lead? Don’t be afraid to be the bride in blush, champagne or robin’s egg blue! Going for tradition with a twist? Add a colored sash or Carrie Bradshaw heels to brighten up your look.