Molly: East vs. West

Molly: East vs. West

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESI would love to get married at home…I love the smell and the feel of the great Northwest in the summer.

Choosing a locale is hard when there are two coasts in the mix.

By Molly O’Brien

I’m in a bi-coastal relationship. I’m from Seattle, and Glen is from Rhode Island. Choosing where we should get married is just as simple as where we want to get married right?


There is way too much pressure that goes into choosing a location. Not a venue — a location. Whether it’s from outside sources or internal, I’m sure it’s a combination of both. Choosing where in the world to get married has beaten me down. I think the pressure has probably come more from within, but I am a people pleaser. Trying to make everything mesh and flow just isn’t working. And we’ve only just begun…(insert trumpet noise)

I have tremendous guilt about making this wedding too hard on people or too difficult for people. I don’t know how to make it right and to feel right myself.


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Rhode Island is where Glen and I met and have made our home.

I would love to get married at home. I love Mount Rainier. I love the smell and the feel of the great Northwest in the summer time. I love home — it’s home. Most importantly, it would be so much easier for my family to do everything there. For many reasons.

The thing is I live here. Home is far away. It’s a seven hour plane ride. Realistically,  I know I would eventually break down if I tried to plan a wedding from afar. You say, “People do it all the time!” I know myself, I would crumble and die.

I’m perfectionist, a control freak, detail-oriented and bossy. I need to know what’s going on at all times. When it comes to my own wedding it’s not really a time to pull a “Frozen” and “Let it Go.”

Flip side, getting married in Washington is a lot less expensive than it is in the Ocean State. So would it even out? I don’t know. Too much math.

Lastly, let’s get real here for a second — and I’m only doing this because maybe someone else is going through it so hear me out) —I’m almost a tad resentful. Why does Glen get to have the wedding here? Why does it get to be so easy for him and everyone he loves? Why do my friends and family have to travel thousands of miles. Does that sound nasty or petty? Yeah, maybe. My stomach turns for feeling like that, but it’s true. Is it fair? I don’t know. Are feelings fair? We talk and realize the wedding has to be right for both of us. Actually, it has to be right for everyone because it’s a family affair. A team effort. All of those feelings have to be put out in the open before you can move forward.

I’ve taken a lot into consideration. Everyone says you need to plan things for yourself because it’s your wedding. In a sense it is, but it’s not. It’s not all about me. It’s not my day. It’s our day. It has to work for everyone. And it’s important to me that certain people are involved. Otherwise it won’t be worth it.

So, for now, we’ll keep looking in Rhode Island. After all, it is where Glen and I met and have established a life together. Mom’s on the team, too. She’ll keep looking in RI and for backups in WA just in case I change my mind, which I have…seven times or so.

Or we could just run away to a tropical island. That option is sounding better and better.

1 comment

  1. Steve Higgins says:

    OMG!!! Poor Glen!!! 😉

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