By Angie Sarhan
Ever since David and I got engaged, it’s been a happy and busy time filled with planning, organizing, detailing, dreaming and counting down (only 9 more days!)
There have been so many memories created as we picked a date, chose a location, booked vendors, decided on a menu, went to our tasting… you get the idea!
But I have to say one of my favorite moments of the engagement so far was attending my bridal shower.
It was a beautifully planned and orchestrated day thanks to my mom and best friends. The food was delicious (thanks, Luigi’s)! Everyone was in happy spirits and it was a bright, sunny day.
I admit, it’s nice to go to a wedding related event that you didn’t have to think about—well, except for choosing a dress and shoes!
But really, the best part of the bridal shower is looking around and realizing how many wonderful women you are surrounded by.
I was overwhelmed by the love I saw all around me. Some had rearranged schedules, a few had driven hours to get there and others had helped plan this event for weeks.
Looking at each of their faces I was reminded of how lucky I am.
Whether they are parents, family or friends, all these women were there to tell me they are excited and here to support me—not just as I approach my wedding, but also as I enter my marriage.
That’s why I was so excited to see the pretty, little jar with the words “Advice for the Bride,” near the candy bar—yes, there was even a candy bar too!
As a bride-to-be, one thing I’ve enjoyed most is the advice (sometimes solicited, sometimes unsolicited) I’ve received from the women around me. Everyone has something to share!
There are those who opine on wedding planning and there are those who think long-term and share marriage advice.
I admit, I love knowing how a couple met and what keeps them together, so when I find myself in the presence of someone who has been with their partner for a fair amount of time,I am quick to ask what advice they have for David and me. Sometimes the words come tumbling out, as if they were on the tips of their tongues.
Other times, they have to think for a moment before an answer rises to the surface.
Their words have been filled with the do’s, the don’ts, and what to do for better or for worse. Mostly they come from experience and are always from a place of love.
My favorite conversations are the ones filled with honesty and thoughtfulness. I know I will always cherish one particular conversation I shared with David’s aunt. She was candid, funny and not afraid to be real. She spoke to me at length, giving advice for different stages of marriage.
I was so happy I thought to ask her and so grateful she felt she could share such an honest and intimate portrayal of her fifty-three year marriage.
That’s why seeing a jar for advice set up at the shower was really a perfect touch to an already perfect day.
Naturally, I couldn’t wait to get home and see what sage words of wisdom sat in my jar.
And so, on a fairly calm evening, not filled with wedding related duties, David and I sat together, excited to see these slips of paper that may act like an anchor at some point, settling a couple down if they ever hit rocky waters.
I thought I would share some of our favorite pieces of advice with all of you!
“Never go to bed angry.” (This was a popular one!)
“Always remember what you love most about one another and remember to laugh.”
“Make time for one another.”
“Make time for fun.”
“Trust your love.”
“Remember why you got married to begin with. Let your love grow with you.”
I hope these words of wisdom resonate with all of you. Even though each relationship is different, and no two people operate the same, I think it doesn’t hurt to see what works for the couples you admire and respect.
So my advice? Ask for as much advice as you can get. Listen carefully, cherish the words shared, take what you want and set aside the rest. (You never know what might resonate later, down the road.)
At the end of reading through each of the slips of paper, I felt reassured. Most of the advice we read are things David and I already try to live by. It made me feel like according to the people who love us most, we are already on the right track.
And with just days until we become husband and wife, that is the best message we can receive.