By Kaitlyn Murray
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably thought about who you’d want by your side on your big day once or twice, but now that the time to round up the party, things are a bit murkier. There are lots of factors to consider, like hurt feelings and reliability and budgets. Hopefully the following tips will make your decision process just a tad easier.
- Consider proximity. On the literal side: It will be difficult for that college friend who lives on the other side of the country to participate in a majority of the wedding prep. Check in to see if their involvement (i.e. bridal shower & bachelorette festivity attendance, DIY-help, etc.) is feasible before you officially pop the question. On the figurative side: Pick people that you’re not only close with now, but who you can also still see yourself being close with in ten years’ time. A sister-in-law will probably still be around — a co-worker may not.
- Trust your gut. Only choose folks that you know you can rely on. Don’t ask someone that you know could A) Drop the ball on booking a hotel for the bachelor/ette weekend, B) Go MIA right when the ceremony is about to begin, or C) Cause a scene during the reception after one too many celebratory glasses of Champagne.
- Think ‘age appropriate’. Being a part of the bridal party is a lot of responsibility for someone under the age of 18 (or even 21), and there’s a good chance they won’t legally be able to partake in the bachelor/ette festivities, won’t have the extra cash for various expenses, or will have to rely on older family members for transportation. Instead, assign them the title of junior bridesmaid/groomsmen or give them another important role for the actual wedding day. If you’re absolutely set on having a younger sib be your maid of honor or best man, however, consider designating a co-captain for the job and having them split the duties.
- Ignore “obligations.” It doesn’t matter if you made a pact with your childhood best friend (whom you only correspond with nowadays via group text) or if you were in your cousin’s wedding (because you know that was your aunt’s doing, anyways); this is your wedding and only you get final say on who you want to surround yourself with on one of the most important days of your life.
- Screw tradition (if you want!). So, your partner has ten people on their side while you can only come up with three names? Have an uneven numbered wedding party. Can’t decide between your sisters? Have two maids of honor or no maid of honor at all. You’re the groom but your best friend in the world is a lady? Ask her to be your best woman. It’s 2017 people, there’s no need to adhere to centuries-old customs if you’re not so inclined.